This is one for the Whore Record Books. A 20 year-old Texan woman recently gave birth to a set of twins who were born only minutes apart, but somehow they each have different fathers.
The mother, Mia “Cum Dumpster” Washington, needed to get a paternity test because the twins, who are 11 months old now, looked so different from one another. The husband said, “I became suspicious when one of the babies came out really tan. I mean, I’m Italian, but Joshua is just too tan.”
Scientists were baffled by the rare event. Said chemist Sergo Zinnman, “She literally must have been bathing in man goo at the time of inception.” But the best quote from the article came from Mia herself:
A disbelieving Mia, 20, told The Sun: “Out of all the people in America and all the people in the world, this had to happen to me.”
No, Mia, it didn’t have to happen to you. You opened your legs as wide as the Mississippi River and big surprise — you got a little too much driftwood in there. It’s called “karma”, and unfortunately, I feel bad for the kids. If they weren’t going to be screwed up enough, the two siblings will legally be referred to as “half-brothers”.
