Pizza Comedy

We all know that the French are a bunch of cocksmoker’s, but this is ridiculous.

In a new anti-smoking campaign aimed at battling the high spike in teenage smokers, France has issued these. The slogan underneath roughly translates to “Smoking means being a slave to tobacco”. It’d be a lot cooler if it said “Smoking is no way to get ahead in life”. The first pic looks like a young Mick Jagger, which makes me wonder if the guy in the suit is David Bowie.

I mean, I guess I see their point. All the old TV drug ads made me want to do was crave eggs…and not have a father that looks like this.

I wrote this while eating an egg sandwich and smoking a pack of Newports at an obstetrician’s office. Thug Life.

by LA Dave

Forget free condoms and preaching abstinence. Adventures in Sex City is here. Sex City is a game made by the Middlesex-London Health Unit to promote safe sex and STD information. Mostly teenagers only have time for experimenting with drugs, boning each other during study halls and beating off to internet porn so why not combine two of their loves to help spread the word about safe sex instead of spreading herpes…that’s my job out here. You’re welcome California.

You can choose from numerous characters including Princess Vag (The Virgin), Power Pap (The Slut — I mean sexually active girl), as well as Captain Condom the man intent on inventing the world’s safest condom. Join the fight against Sperminator — their evil promiscuous nemesis who has numerous STD’s and two Penises for hands. I can’t make this shit up. He asks you basic sex ed questions in order for you to advance to higher levels. Get the question wrong and he shoots his Giz at you like Peter North. BYAHHHH!

Click the link to test out your skills and see if you can beat Paris Hiltons score. She got none correct.

…or is my chin just melting again?

I guess the Grammy’s were last night. I deduced this knowledge from a super-sweet picture of Beyonce showing her bootylicious-ness and from this clip of Steven Colbert flashing his new iPad. Haters beware, the new iPad comes complete with a Grammy when you buy it. Who needs multi-tasking and background apps when you’ve got that??

If you’re interested, here’s the list of Grammy winners. I will say I was slightly surprised (and happily so) that Phoenix won for best Alternative Music album. Props to them. Also props to Kings of Leon for being the only other artist there to represent rock music in the charts this year.

Kind-of surprisingly, Eminem won for Best Rap album — although the competition wasn’t really that stiff. Beyonce won for Best Ass — I mean, best juicy fruit butt — umm, wait, no. She won for best turd pillow. I’m sorry, this never happens to me. She won for best new female dumper — I mean, Best Female Artist…with a juicy fruit butt.

Taylor Swift also won some awards, and unfortunately Kanye was nowhere to be seen this year. I heard a rumor that he was in the bathroom, having sex with a coddle fish during her acceptance speech, otherwise, he would have been there to interrupt. He was missed.

Other that that, I didn’t watch the Grammys. I know I probably missed so much, but something tells me I’ll be OK. Thanks to Beyonce for her juicy fruit butt, it’s helped me get through this post.

Every year, Apple continues to break down technological and aesthetic boundaries. And the packaging for their latest product — the iPad — is simply genius.

This new product is especially helpful on my heavy flow days.

nice pic by Rhonda

An Apple media event is currently underway as we speak, where they are releasing their much-anticipated new TABLET computer. The tablet — which has been rumored for years — was finally revealed today as their “newest creation”, and no, I’m not kidding, it’s actually called the iPad. Like iPod, with one letter changed.

But apparently, the computer will be much more than just a huge iPod. I’m not sure how (my guess is full multi-media experience — the ability to edit, capture, read, surf the net, watch movies, access iTunes, DL on the fly, go fucking nuts), but it fits in your lap and it’s may or may not kill Amazon’s Kindle.

Here’s an early peak at it.

J slash. You know that’s not it because there’s no brushed aluminum. The real tablet is a sleek black, with a 9.7 inch full-touch display. Oh and it’s only a half an inch thick. The future is now, my friends….

Pretty damn slick. I’m not sure how life changing this device will be — people are certainly freaking out about it — but one thing is for cereal, everyone’s gonna want one. And they probably will be worth every penny. Gimme, gimme, gimme…

>> For more news/specs on this (it’s literally going on as we speak), follow the feed on Gizmodo. They’re streaming live coverage and photos…

Remember that prison in the Phillipines with all the prisoners dancing to Michael Jackson? It was awesome. And thankfully, the prisoners had enough time between Arts & Crafts and Shiv 101 to put together an even better version of it. Again, Maximum Security Prison. Dance off.

As you can probably tell, they had more help with this one. Michael Jackson’s long-time choreographer Travis Payne flew in to help them out. And I’m guessing those three dancers in front aren’t in prison either. They are way too happy (and gay) to be in prison.

I’m not happy to say this, but I’m pretty sure this will be a reality show in a year or two. So You Think You Can Dance in a Prison? It’s a mix between Survivor and Dancing with the Stars — prisoners will be eliminated, not by voting, but by White Power Bill. And of course, Simon Cowell will judge. I’d like to see Clay Aiken survive that.

Pretty impressive work by those prisoners though. Encore.

Come on ladies, hop on. You know you want that sweet, sweet lemonade.

props to LA Dave for the horse smut