Pizza Comedy

This was the best response by far:

When this guy gets to the hospital, someone take his food and put some atomic peppers on top of his burger.

Let’s take a moment to honor that which is most important in life: butts. More specifically, butts that you can bounce a nickel off of.

Good for her. Good for all of these ladies.

Had a great shoot yesterday for an upcoming Steven Seagal: Lawman sketch we’re doing. I have to say, this may have been our finest work to date — and Steven showed up to kick some major ass, and maybe, just maybe, break some arms. We actually rented cop outfits for the shoot and while shooting, someone rolled down their window and screamed at us: “PIGS!!”

They weren’t joking, and I have to say, it was pretty awesome. I imagine that if I were a real cop, I would have dropped whatever I was doing — even if it was arresting a murderer — to chase them down, bear-mace them, and then proceed to tazer them unlawfully. Thankfully, I’m not a cop. And neither is Steven Seagal.

As for the sketch, It will be part of the massive Pizza Comedy Pilot that is slowly making it’s way into reality…it’s about 65%-70% complete at this point, and let me just say, when this shit hits, sketch comedy will never be the same. Been editing/shooting this since early November, and when it hits, we will have close to 30 minutes of great sketch/TV/what-the-fuck-is-going-on comedy. So stay tuned…it will be well worth the wait.

BTW, did anyone see the Funny or Die Presents show on HBO?? That was (surprisingly) one of the worst things I have ever seen. Ever. I don’t even understand. I promise you, our show will be better than that.

How about a little monday randomness to start this week off right?

Here’s the topic: chicks.

This first bit of randomness comes from just a regular night in da club. Dancing with some hunnies, grinding up on some bitties, smashing your face into some strangers crotch like Rosie O’Donnell at a carpet clearance sale…

Now, the first thing I must note about that picture is the fact that 1) I’m pretty sure that’s Nurse Jackie and 2) that Asian chick standing next to her needs a man to sit on her face, pronto. Then I suggest the two couples double-date, perhaps at P.F. Changs, making sure to surface from each others privates every 30-45 seconds for a tasty combo of air and spicy chang sauce.

Next, we have a modern day Kris Kross. Homegirl likes to wear her pants backwards, and you know what? I think she’s onto something. Epic ass cleavage.

In addition to being hot, these ass-fly pants serve multiple purposes. One, they makes her juicy fruit butt shimmer like Steven Seagal in the Glimmer Man. Two, she’s got a fantastic pencil holder, if the situation ever arises. And three, if she ever needs to poop, all she needs to do is unzip and relax. Doody Dispenser 2.0.

Which leads me lastly to Veronica. And all I’ll say about her is: “Ew, gross.” (slash “call me”)

Seriously Veronica, get a hobby.

This reminds me of a simpler time, when music was funky and bras were an afterthought.

Play those funky nipples, white girl.

I have a feeling that today is going to be a good one. Extra funky. Disco tits. If I had my way, I’d go down to the local honky tonk, order some whisky, and sip it off some disco cleavage.

Ain’t that right, Mick?

Artist: Rolling Stones
Song: “Honkey Tonk Women”
Album: Hot Rocks (1964-1971)
Website

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

You know the Rolling Stones have been around since 1962? That’s fucking insane. Almost 50 years. They got big at the same time as The Beatles. Can you imagine how many disco tits they’ve seen? My guess is somewhere in the billions. The nippllions.

Dude, Martin Lawrence has really committed to this character.

In this 3rd film, the plot revolves around finding a nerdy Indian college student to wear as a backpack. The problem is…momma’s too big!!

I’m trying to reserve judgment until I see the film, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that this looks…fucking awesome!

If you were getting heenan while sipping a mixed drink on this couch and a cool breeze came through your room, you would finally get a taste of what it means to be a baller:

At $4,300, you need some scratch to purchase this. But at the same time, you can probably float into vagina once the girl sees this bad boy (editor’s note: tropical dome might be the best dome). Click here to actually buy this clever, howbeit pointless and expensive, piece of furniture.

Cat is props kid for the find.