Florida may be known as the sunshine state but Ashlee is only interested in the moon…the full moon. Juicy fruit butts that she can dig into with a knife and fork and go to town.
With a name like hers (Lineberger…sounds a bit Jewish), you’d think she was only interested in handing out bj’s — but no, Ashlee wants to tongue bang your balloon knot.
I wanna party with this girl.
I want to go deep sea fishing in Florida, soak up the sun, maybe a little kite surfing, jet skiing, Epcot center if there’s enough time and then sit on her face while doing the New York Times crossword puzzle. In fact, I think all licenses in the future should simply list something sexually you like to do. That way you won’t waste any time finding out whether a girl is a freak or a dead fish.
I would be known as Dave from Doggystyle Venice or perhaps Dave hailing from Pump Cheeks Kansas. This girl brazenly puts herself out there and let’s her freak flag fly. If I was a Ft. Lauderdale cop who pulled her over for speeding, I wouldn’t ask her to take care of the kid to get out of a speeding ticket, I’d have her toss my salad like she was working at Olive Garden. My buddy Ed lives in Miami and once knew these two girls that liked to blow ecstasy directly up their buttholes with straws so it reached their bloodstream quicker. No joke, they asked him if he wanted some…and when he saw how they took it, he had to pass (which must have been difficult because this guy really likes to party — so hard that he’d call the guys from The Hangover a bunch of pussies). He needs to call this girl, she’s right up his alley.
Believe it or not, I even found her on Facebook. She only has 67 friends, I guess ass eating is shunned in Florida, right next to sodomy. I guess they prefer ribs such as Michelbobs. If I had to choose between eating butt or baby back ribs it would be like “Sophies Choice“, Beatles or The Stones. I believe it was Marie Antoinette who, when told the commoners were starving and out of bread, said “Let them eat butt.”
