Very interesting look behind the man of the moment, Epic Beard Man.
This isn’t funny, but I couldn’t stop watching it. A well done piece about the coolest, hardest 67 year-old on the motherfuckin’ streets. It’s a bit long, but don’t EBM is worth it…
Pimpin’ Tom and Ugly Bob. A match made in heaven.
I mean, how epic is Epic Beard Man? The guy’s a legend. Mofo is an expert at playing spoons and washerboard. I didn’t even know you could play the washerboard. That’s how good he is.
And I thought Little Bill from Boogie Nights was annoying always looking for his wife.
They should do a new compilation post-Indiana Jones 4, in which he’s looking for his talent agent. So he can punch him in the face for putting him in such a piece of trash.
This might be the greatest fight scene ever conceived in the history of cinema, and I use “greatest” in the exact opposite of its definition. This is the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed, right behind seeing my father rollerblade. The film is Undefeatable, it’s director: the infamous Hong Kong joke, Godfrey Ho. Take a look:
Godfrey (editor’s note: the most un-Asian first name ever recorded) has put together the essentials needed for one to make a shit storm fight scene: the constant & pointless screams, latent homosexual disrobing, bad-ass female sidekick with arm in sling, and of course the closing pun. I want the last 3 minutes of my life back.
Props to EJ Goldfried with the find. No props to Hong Kong filmmakers or the herb Americans they cast.
Can we please stop to applaud this young man’s incredible talent?
I mean, he transitions from Basic Instinct to Batman to Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar without even blinking an eye. That is what we call “range” out here in Hollywood. And that look…it’s like…he can see THROUGH me. Into my soul. Like Zoolander’s “Magnum” times a million.
I haven’t seen acting chops like this since Marky Mark left the Funky Bunch to promote his abs.
Some of these were taken down due to a bunch of lawyers getting their nuts in a twist over copyrights. On a similar note, see if you can twist your nuts clockwise three full times. They go crazy like those old rubber band airplanes.
Check out the rest here. Standouts were Close Encounters and The Fugitive.
When it comes to being a thespian, it’s all about the range of roles. Whether on the stage or the big screen, no one shows such range in both characters and emotion as world-class martial artist, blues guitarist, New Orleans police officer, and 2007 Coney Island hot dog eating contest runner-up Steven Seagal. The proof is right here, folks:
Lion face--ROAR! Lemon face--bbbrrrrr!
Seagal is now accepting applications (and baked goods) at his New Orleans acting school. But if you don’t pay tuition on time, he’ll send you to the bank…the blood bank.
It seems these day’s Tim Burton has taken on the persona of his Edward Scissorhands character — he ruins everything he touches. I’ll give him a free pass for his previous cinematic achievements, but he’s running out of credit. Maybe again like Edward he’s better off these days living alone somewhere and gardening.
It’s like Johnny Depp signed a deal with the devil. It’s not his fault though, he doesn’t even read scripts. Before Jerry Bruckheimer gave him a job playing dress up as a pirate we fell victim to Nick of Time, The Astronauts Wife, The Ninth Gate, and lets not forget his riveting role as John Shooter in Secret Window.
I don’t think I’ll see Alice In Wonderland even if it is in 3D. I’d rather see Fart: The Movie with giant turds flying out of the screen. Alice in Wonderland opens March 5th. Don’t mark your calendars.
I still think Madonna is hot even if she looks like a mummified mad hatter. Do yourself a favor and take this video below to bonertown.