Dolph Lundgren does his own stunts. He also parts his hair on the side and he’s a horrible shot:
That scene’s from the movie Showdown in Little Tokyo, a flick made before CGI; so you know this really happened. This could not be faked, unlike that big phony Kobe Bryant!
It’s easy to make fun of Arnold Schwarzeneger’s accent (and political accomplishments), but one thing has become clear from the last 10 un-Arnold filled years. Action films just aren’t the same without him. He is seriously probably the best action star of the last three decades — possibly ever. Which is further encouragement to our youth that you don’t need to speak to be really cool. You just need really, really big muscles (or a big dick Either works).
So here it is. The best of the best. 160 of the running man’s best movie quotes…and believe me, they got ‘em all…
I watch this and wonder why they give action stars dialogue at all. Limit their speaking lines to five words at the max. You won’t be sorry.
In related news, Jay Leno is a massive toolbag and Arnold’s not afraid to call him out. Kick his ass, Seabass!!
great find by I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots and Your ‘Taytorcycle
It’s common knowledge that George Costanza is the best movie character of all time. I mean, come on. He beat up a kid in a bubble for saying “moops” during Trivial Pursuit. He bought cheap envelopes for his wedding, which in turn killed his fiance. He keeps it mega-real.
But all that awesomeness also means he’s got pretty big pants to fill. (And no, I’m not talking about him promoting Jenny Craig. Which, yes, he’s actually doing). I’m talking about his unfulfilled legacy. The fruit that burns in his loins. A child he hoped to one day name “Seven”…
And here it is. The role he was born to play. George.
Spoiler Alert: He winds up trading his child for a dime bag of Unobtainium.
great find by Seintay
Arnold Schwarzenegger was on The Tonight show with Gay Leno yesterday, where he was forced to sit through Jay Leno’s cornball wisecracks. As you’ll see you here, Leno busted The Governator about his acting chops. But in the end, Arnold shitted on The Chin and his audience:
As Arnold pointed out, Leno’s childish humor is only suited for geriatrics. It should be outlawed. He should be jailed by a “kindergarten cop.” In fact, one could place his shitty impressions on the same skill level with that of SNL’s Kenan Thompson. You can even consider them shitty “twins.” Either way, I’ll be glad to see Conan O’Brien back on the air. He’s my “last action hero,” and I refer to Coco’s return to late night TV as Jay Leno’s “judgment day.” Maybe then NBC execs will realize the “raw deal” they gave Coco when they see his awesome ratings, and hopefully they’ll ask for a “total recall.”
Commando.
Steve Harvey does. And he’s illiterate!
Oh Kenan, sometimes you still make me laugh. And if anyone’s wondering what Kel is up to, here is the [very real] movie poster for his last project — 2009’s See Dick Run.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more photoshopped movie poster in my life. And they still couldn’t make that girl on the left look any less like a tranny lemur.
If you’re wondering why you’ve never heard or seen this movie, stop thinking about it. I’m not sure if this was even in theaters. The story is about Kel’s dick. He “loses it.” I’m guessing his nuts get cut off. Or he spills hot coffee on his groin and they’re irreparably damaged. Maybe he works for UPS.
Someone watch it and fill me in. Or don’t. I don’t really care. I’m gonna stick to my Keenan and Kel, if you don’t mind. Maybe a little Fresh Prince and Clarissa afterwards? Shit man, a lineup that good, I’ll never do my homework.
Kal Penn (birth name Kalpen Apu Nahasapeemapetilon) was robbed at gunpoint in Washington, DC. Here’s the front page fresh off the presses:
Even Gandhi called you soft.
I’m glad this finally happened. How many times have you been robbed at a convenience store by the Indian dude behind the register? $6 for a forty?! Really, Akbar?!
Let’s face it, Kal Penn is an annoying actor. Aside from Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, can you name another good movie he’s done? If you say Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj I’m gonna stab you in the eyes.
In related news, John Cho was blindfolded with dental floss.
Read the full article here.
This is bad ass. If only they made the last two Matrix movies with Legos…
They probably still would have sucked, but at least The Architect could have built something sweet.
If you’re a fan of KFC, then you already know. They’ve created the ultimate chicken sandwich. The skin, the cheese, everything. I’m at the Comfort Inn room 112. I love you, Frank.
This is the Double Down. Two pieces of fried chicken, two pieces of cheese, bacon, and mayo. Yes, they’ve actually thought outside the bun. By removing it, and in it’s place filling it with cholesterol and jack cheese.
If you’re not freaked out by the imminent health problems you’ll get by eating this, then perhaps you’ll be freaked out by the commercial. Or rather, the black guy in the commercial who looks like he might double down on your ass if you turn the lights off.
He’s like a creepy Mr. Grinch, who’s heart never grew three sizes too big because he had a heart attack.
I do also enjoy how they offer the Double Down in their “grilled” chicken form as well, like anyone’s ever gonna actually get that. I don’t even think that’s real grilled chicken. Looks more like a piece of shoe coated with plastic spray and fake grill marks.
If it’s not fake chicken, then it’s some sort of fried chicken skin from an alternate universe. If Fringe were real, I’d ask Walter about this. Another thing I think is not real, but quite funny:
