Pizza Comedy

A big rap from a little man — Andy Milonakis steps up to the YouTube mic to spit hot fire on Jay Leno. I probably wouldn’t have recognized it was him, mostly due to his stunna shades and what looks to be the bedroom of a cheap apartment in Van Nuys, but it’s the real deal, the A-Milo, dropping a kilo on Chinzilo…

I couldn’t agree more. And I’m very happy to hear that even though Jay’s back in his old Tonight Show slot, he’s dropped down to the #2 spot behind Letterman. Please, please, pretty please keep that karma coming…

In related news, Conan O’Brien has started using Twitter. So you can follow his every Coco-fueled moved like the crazy internet stalker you are.

But more importantly, Conan just announced that he’s talking his Late Night show on the road! Since he is legally banned from doing TV shows until September, he just announced a nationwide tour, complete with co-host pal Andy Richter, of live shows.

The former host of “The Tonight Show” announced a 30-city theater tour on Thursday. Sidekick Andy Richter and the former “Tonight Show” band will join O’Brien for what he promises to be “a night of music, comedy, hugging and the occasional awkward silence.”

The “Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour” begins April 12 in Eugene, Ore., and concludes June 14 in Atlanta. It will visit theaters in at least 20 states and two Canadian provinces. Additional dates may be added.

O’Brien quipped: “It was either a massive 30-city tour or start helping out around the house.”

Tickets are going to go fast, so I suggest you hop on that like Tiger Woods on a pancake waitress. Tickets are available at TeamCoco.com, on by click on this nifty picture above…

I’m with Coco. Let’s go see this show.

Props to Nalley for the spicy vid

This is the best song off of Vampire Weekend’s new album, Contra. I first hinted at it’s awesomeness on the PiMP Tunes 6 mixtape back in January, but they just came out with a video for it, so it deserves the limelight.

The music video is…weird…and features a ton of rediculous cameos, including Jake Gyllenhaal, Lil’ Jon, Joe Jonas (the “bonus Jonas”) and RZA of the Wu-Tang Clan.

Artist: Vampire Weekend
Song: “Giving Up The Gun”
Album: Contra (2010)
Website

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Interesting fact: this video is directed by The Malloys, who have directed a crazy amount of music videos (and one notable movie: Out Cold) dating back to early 2000. You should really take a look at their catalogue of videos they’ve done…my favorite is all the way back in their early days, directing “A Little Respect” by Wheatus. Just the mention of that band made me laugh out loud. Remember Wheatus? They had a huge hit with “Teenage Dirtbag”. And by the way, I had that album and I loved it. Fantastic stuff.

So I got a little off topic there, but it was necessary. I mean, this is Wheatus we’re talking about here. Not something stupid and fleeting like U2. Wheatus. So without further ado, I give you “Giving Up the Gun” by Vampire Weekend — a decent music video, and a great song…

nice snag by Officer Tay

This reminds me of a simpler time, when music was funky and bras were an afterthought.

Play those funky nipples, white girl.

I have a feeling that today is going to be a good one. Extra funky. Disco tits. If I had my way, I’d go down to the local honky tonk, order some whisky, and sip it off some disco cleavage.

Ain’t that right, Mick?

Artist: Rolling Stones
Song: “Honkey Tonk Women”
Album: Hot Rocks (1964-1971)
Website

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

You know the Rolling Stones have been around since 1962? That’s fucking insane. Almost 50 years. They got big at the same time as The Beatles. Can you imagine how many disco tits they’ve seen? My guess is somewhere in the billions. The nippllions.

I think I was too young to truely appreciate Wu Tang in the hieght of their popularity. At the time they hit the streets (’93), I was too busy getting my rocks off to Weezer’s Blue Album and trying to stuff my pockets with as much free candy as possible from the Candy Island at Bob’s Discount Furniture. Come to think of it, rap really wasn’t in my musical mix until my “formidable years” — aka when I started drinking alcohol.

That said, I’m well aware that Enter the Wu-Tang is widely regarded as one of the best rap albums of all time (although not quite as good as the GZA’s solo album Liquid Swords). And I’m also well aware that Wu spits hot fire like Dylon.

The Beatles, however, have been in my repertoire since I was a young lass. Who doesn’t love those long-haired Brits? They fuckin rock. I played Beatles Rock Band start-to-finish in about 6 hours. I didn’t take a break, except to break the seal (and then about every 15 minutes after that).

Which is why this mash-up is so fantastic. Wu Tang vs. The Beatles. This has been in heavy, heavy rotation on my iPod…

Artist: Wu Tang and the Beatles
Song: “Uh Huh”
Album: Enter the Magical Mystery Chambers (2010)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

I’ve heard a lot of mash-ups in recent years and this has to be one of my favorites. It’s incredibly well-produced, clean, and weaves the story of both bands into one long, amazing disc. It even features rare interviews with Beatles fans and Wu memebers, spliced cleverly into the tracks. I seriously feel like I’m listening to a history lesson when I pop on this shit.

The best part is, the album is/was available for free. It looks as if it has been taken down from the original artist’s page (the DJs name is Tom Caruana), but i did manage to find a link to the album here.

Check it. Get schooled by the old school…

Gettin back to it, Slim. Sounds great.

Artist: Eminem
Song: “Elevator”
Album: Relapse: Refill (2009)
Website

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Back in December, Eminem re-dropped his Relapse album with a second disc of tracks — 7 new ones in total — and called it Relapse: Refill. You probably heard about it.

I finally got around to listening to some of that second dose, and it’s certainly more potent than before. First off, he’s finally back to some interesting beats — I’m sure you noticed Refill’s beats sounded mostly like an A+ GarageBand metronome (not that I’m hating, but those tracks are as bare-bones as Calista Flockhart’s food pantry). Here, however, you’ll see we’re getting back into some party beats, with classical Em bounce.

Refill is like a Xanax to Relapse’s Tylenol PM. However, I would equate 2002’s The Eminem Show to oxycotton, so in the world of metaphorical drug comparisons, Em’s still got some big morphine bags to fill. Which, now that he’s sober, he’ll have to do with ryhmes.

But that’s cool with me. I’m enjoying the ride as he gets back to the top. And to be honest, his competition right now is pretty weak. Bunch of weak AutoTuned sheep out there Slim, be that wolf. Disaprin….

Bill Murray in What About Bob? said it best, “There are two types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don’t.”  I personally do, but I never realized how abnormally boring the guy’s life is.  Where’s my proof?  How about we take a look at his twitter account.  Below is a picture of several updates from Neil Diamond:

Clearly this guy puts all his thoughts in his music, because his status updates are as mundane as my grocery list.  The observation on his dog alone should be the title of a children’s book.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he starts hijacking lines from the cute, nerdy blond kid from Jerry Maguire.  Come tomorrow, Neil Diamond will tell us all the human head weighs 8 lbs.

Click here to go to his account, Cracklin’ Rosie!

COMINGTOYAAAAHAAAA!

A great, mellow tune for this hump day. Comes from Wakey!Wakey! — a super-indie rocker from New York…

Artist: Wakey! Wakey!
Song: “Twenty-Two”
Album: Almost Everything I Wish I’d Said The Last Time I Saw You (2010)
Website

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Very pleasant tune, I was also jamming out to another one called “Almost Everything” on his website, which is arguably better (like a weird combo of Michelle Branch and Vampire Weekend). The band is lead largely by frontman Mike Grubbs, and suffice to say, I’m impressed.

Nice find by Big Al

Watching Mel Gibson rap in this video makes me realize one thing: this man missed his calling. Yes, he is a great actor, but his angry outlashes and blatant racism is much more fitting for the profession of “rapper.” Just think, if he put all that anti-semetic ranting to a hip hop beat, it would be like the reincarnation of Bone Crusher.

Just think — he could go by the alias DJ Eaglz Nest and make headlines by beating up Jewish people and cops that pull him over for driving drunk. Fuck the po-lice!!

Am I the only one who’s excited about this???

Hey Mel, pass the blunt…