Pizza Comedy

Season 14 of South Park is just around the corner — new episodes start next Wednesday (the 17th), a week from today. And in honor of their upcoming 200th episode (holy shit, right? I remember being in middle school, watching Mr. Hankey wipe shit all over the place. Seemed like only yesterday), they have opened up the internet floodgates to fans around the world. You can actually submit you own message, image, or whatever to Matt and Trey on their 200th Episode page. They will pick the best and then display them up on the site. It’s pretty cool, so check it out if you wanna holler at yo boys…

They released two promo clips for the new season. This first one is a hilarious response to that angry Ginger kid on YouTube, if you haven’t seen the original video, I recommend watching it first. I only got through the first minute, because, well…because the dude freaks me out.

And then there’s this one.

God bless America and our right to own 500 guns. Not sure if these are just promo clips, or if they will be in actual episodes…but I am very, very excited. I read an article recently that interviewed Matt and Trey, and they said that said they will definitely be doing a huge Tiger Woods episode. Can’t wait to see what they do to that man whore…

As everyone on Facebook knows, Corey Haim passed away this morning.  He was 38 years old.  As a child actor of the 80s, he was destined for failure and mockery, from both celebrity peers and big dick swinging internet comedy website writers.  Although I’m a huge fan of his films The Double-O Kid, License to Drive, and Blown Away, I think I’ll always remember him for his on point, no nonsense television interviews:

Despite his substance abuse problems, Haim was always the greater Corey.  Though his counterpart Corey Feldman starred in The ‘Burbs, Haim will always hold the higher ground in my opinion.  Just look at the way he macked it to Nicole Eggert using a stuffed animal reference (see Blown Away link above, it will not disappoint).  You have to admit, “nice duck” is a much better way of getting butt than pulling off this musical number (at the 1:10 mark, Feldman defines the word “chump stain”):

I rest my case, Corey rests in peace.

As you may have noticed, we’re in the process of giving Pizza Comedy a little facelift, making it cleaner and prettier. More importantly, it’s in synch with our brand new Video page and our upcoming PCP TV Show site.

You may also notice some posts from “newcomers” LA Dave and Scott LaRock. They’re actually Pizza veterans, been around the site forever, and are hilarious. These guys will add some funny, so look forward to that.

It’s all very exciting, I know. My nipples have be at attention for the last three nights straight, and to be perfectly honest, I’m starting to chafe.

Great stuff coming in the upcoming months. So stay with us, and more importantly, stay classy.

This is the kind of dedication I like to see from a broad:

The type of multitasking skills where she could fold the laundry, make you a grilled cheese, and dish out a hearty blow J simultaneously.

Ms. Barnes explained, “She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit.”

Coincidence or simply great comedy luck that Megan Barnes crashed her ‘95 Thunderbird while shaving her bird? If you’ve seen the picture of this woman, a better option would have been to attempt a decapitation since she resembles a bloated Kurt Cobain after a sex change. I can only wonder if the design of her pubes was a heart shaped box.

Peep the rest of the story here.

Had a great shoot yesterday for an upcoming Steven Seagal: Lawman sketch we’re doing. I have to say, this may have been our finest work to date — and Steven showed up to kick some major ass, and maybe, just maybe, break some arms. We actually rented cop outfits for the shoot and while shooting, someone rolled down their window and screamed at us: “PIGS!!”

They weren’t joking, and I have to say, it was pretty awesome. I imagine that if I were a real cop, I would have dropped whatever I was doing — even if it was arresting a murderer — to chase them down, bear-mace them, and then proceed to tazer them unlawfully. Thankfully, I’m not a cop. And neither is Steven Seagal.

As for the sketch, It will be part of the massive Pizza Comedy Pilot that is slowly making it’s way into reality…it’s about 65%-70% complete at this point, and let me just say, when this shit hits, sketch comedy will never be the same. Been editing/shooting this since early November, and when it hits, we will have close to 30 minutes of great sketch/TV/what-the-fuck-is-going-on comedy. So stay tuned…it will be well worth the wait.

BTW, did anyone see the Funny or Die Presents show on HBO?? That was (surprisingly) one of the worst things I have ever seen. Ever. I don’t even understand. I promise you, our show will be better than that.

We posted last week about Epic Beard Man — a guy now famous on the internet for duffing out a fake thug on a public bus. The video was grade A material, and let’s just say the world (myself included) is fascinated with this 67 year-old man that doesn’t like to be fucked with.

It’s no surprise that people are now scrambling to scoop up his life rights, in a quick ditch effort to capitalize on this Vietnam vet’s life story. This is the first of what I’m sure will be a slew of internet tributes. This one — done by Nintendo — would make Mike Tyson proud…

Dude, even Soda Popinski wouldn’t stand a chance against EBM. He’d get his ass knocked out in 5 seconds.

I also found this interesting — an extended interview with both parties involved. Epic Beard Man gives his side of the story, and the Duffed Out Black Guy goes from being a fake street thug to a Dr. Huxtable lookalike a la The Cosby Show. Get this man some jello pudding…

They even refer to Walter Koenig as “Boner’s Father”. What a way to go. All you want is to die alone in the woods and then you get headlines like this as a reward. I got some other sensitive headlines they could have ran: “Boneyard Bound”, “Boner’s A Stiff”, and the New York Post’s actual link “Boner Dead “.

It makes you wonder what nicknames do to people. A friend of mine used to wear the tightest sweatpants in the world — so much so that you could see the grooves of his tighty whities. We called him Diaper Boy well into the 4th grade. I’m happy to report that he’s alive, still one of my best friends, and that there won’t be any headlines reading Diaper Boy is dead.

I am proud to unveil the brand spankin’ new video page for Pizza Comedy…

Video.PizzaComedy.com

Finally, all our original videos are in one place, neatly packaged and easy to watch. They stream faster, in the highest quality possible, and even work on a nifty rating system. So go in there, leave some comments, and rate your favorite videos and watch some old classics…

It is still a work in progress, so we’ll be making changes as we go. But the site is ripe and ready to be ravaged by hungry comedy eyeballs, so give it a peek.

It’s all leading up to our most glorious achievement yet…the Pizza Comedy TV Show. A 7-part comedy web series with sketches and internet nonsense mixed in. Hopefully, that will arrive in about a month or so. And I don’t say this lightly, it will be our best work yet.

So check out the new site, and have a laugh on us. We’re way cheaper than crack.