Pizza Comedy

If you know anything about comedy, you know Raaaaaaaandy is the funniest comedian currently working the beat. The man performs underwater cunnilingus on a nightly basis, all while on stage. And if you know anything about music, you know that Justin Bieber is a little POS teen phenom that makes me jealous I didn’t start signing when I was 14 (obviously, that’s the only reason I’m not a pop star).

Enter this shocking video. Apparently, Bieber stole his hit song “Baby” from Raaaaaaaandy, and now Raaaaaaaandy wants revenge…

Be careful, Bieber might shit on you too. That’s his MO. I know he’s only 16, but he’s got the bowels of a 72 year-old on prune juice. He could end you.

All the SNL people that have ever done Presidents get back together for one massive Presidential Reunion sketch. Everyone. Chevy Chase, Jim Carrey, Darrell Hammond, Dan Aykroyd, Dana Carvey, Will Farrell, and that not-so-funny guy that does Obama. Oh, and it’s directed by Ron Howard.

Ok, so knowing that, pause for a moment to reduce your expectations by half, and watch this…

I’m guessing the same writer’s for the Funny Or Die show wrote this. And I have the same question now that I had when I watched the show on HBO: “How?” How did you make it so not funny?? I watched the Behind the Scenes for this sketch, and that was funnier. There are so many talent people in this — perhaps the funniest people alive — and yet…

it’s mind bottling.

Oh well, I guess the good news is that Fringe and Community both got picked up for next season. Two TV shows that probably none of you watch, but they are fucking awesome, so shut up and get on board. Yeah, girl.

I am proud to unveil the brand spankin’ new video page for Pizza Comedy…

Video.PizzaComedy.com

Finally, all our original videos are in one place, neatly packaged and easy to watch. They stream faster, in the highest quality possible, and even work on a nifty rating system. So go in there, leave some comments, and rate your favorite videos and watch some old classics…

It is still a work in progress, so we’ll be making changes as we go. But the site is ripe and ready to be ravaged by hungry comedy eyeballs, so give it a peek.

It’s all leading up to our most glorious achievement yet…the Pizza Comedy TV Show. A 7-part comedy web series with sketches and internet nonsense mixed in. Hopefully, that will arrive in about a month or so. And I don’t say this lightly, it will be our best work yet.

So check out the new site, and have a laugh on us. We’re way cheaper than crack.

In the coming days Jay Leno will reclaim his throne at The Tonight Show in his original 11:35 time slot. Like a man scraping the bottom of the pot for that last drop of gravy he returns for more. I don’t know what bothers me the most, the fact that NBC takes a dig at the 7 month exiled Conan, or the fact that they might have ruined a great Beatles song for me.

I don’t dislike Leno, I simply prefer Conan and think what NBC did to him is just plain shitty. I saw with my own eyes the outpourings of affection for Conan as this all unfolded. I even had tickets to his second to last show and was turned away for arriving literally 5 minutes after the recommended time. People had been sleeping on the sidewalks of NBC studio’s just for the chance to see the last gasp of Conan’s Tonight Show.

All I ask is of you good people, is to not forget how funny Conan O’Brien is, and to keep all items on my dresser at a perfect right angle.

PS I’ve seen the movie Sleeping With the Enemy a few times and don’t know what Julia Roberts problem is. The guy seems reasonable to me

I’m not sure what or when this is from — I know it’s a couple years old, but new to me. Jim Carrey puts on the orange hair and transforms into something half-man, half-bear, half-talk-show-host…

…And the resulting monster (known as ManBearCoco) is terrifyingly hilarious. Make sure you stick around for Andy Richter.

It’s so good to hear from Jim Carrey’s ass again. That shit still cracks me up, even when I go back and watch Ace Ventura, I still get tears of joy (not that I’ve matured much since ‘94). And just a general sidenote, did anyone notice how tan Andy Richter got??

asstastic pick by ‘Tay

I found this to be particularly relevant, considering I just re-posted Steven Seagal’s failed audition for Pulp Fiction on Facebook…

Does anyone remember that they re-made Shaft with Samuel Jackson? Does anyone care?? That guy has done some seriously crappy movies. I mean, he’s got some good one’s under his belt, but the shitty ones are piling up. Simmer on these: Deep Blue Sea, S.W.A.T., XXX: State of the Union, Jumper, Soul Men…those are some steamers.

And for the record, I’m putting Snakes On A Plane in his good category.

As for Steven Seagal, the man has yet to make a bad movie. Or career choice. Glimmer Man? A+. Steven Seagal: Lawman?? Riveting. I’m telling you, he should have gotten this role…

The commercial is funny, but I’m kinda sad Milton Bradley blew up my spot.

I mean, I’ve been using this game for 20 years to accidentally graze boobs and bump thighs. It was always our little secret. At least, until now…

They say love is the universal language — even for the French, who often communicate solely via cigarettes and rudeness. But love transcends. Love lifts.

And when all is said and done, when you run out of love, there’s always Google…

This guy probably should have just clicked “I’m Feeling Lucky” on the first search. It always skips right to the porn.