Everyone knows baseball is a boring sport. If it were any slower they’d call it farming. It’s good to see this opinion embodied in its own players. Check out what former New York Mets first baseman, 2-time World Series winner, admitted rampant cokehead, notable Seinfeld alumnus, mustache benefactor, and GQ cover boy Keith Hernandez did in the announcer’s booth in the middle of a game:
Usually when you sleep on the job you get fired. But in Major League Baseball you just get a lanky dike assistant director tapping you out of your slumber and that’s it. Looks like Bud Selig runs a tight ship in that billion dollar enterprise. Steroids, cocaine use, napping on the job. All that’s really left to do is anally rape Sandra Bullock on the pitcher’s mound during “God Bless America” and then we’ll have hit for the cycle.






























