Season 14 of South Park is just around the corner — new episodes start next Wednesday (the 17th), a week from today. And in honor of their upcoming 200th episode (holy shit, right? I remember being in middle school, watching Mr. Hankey wipe shit all over the place. Seemed like only yesterday), they have opened up the internet floodgates to fans around the world. You can actually submit you own message, image, or whatever to Matt and Trey on their 200th Episode page. They will pick the best and then display them up on the site. It’s pretty cool, so check it out if you wanna holler at yo boys…

They released two promo clips for the new season. This first one is a hilarious response to that angry Ginger kid on YouTube, if you haven’t seen the original video, I recommend watching it first. I only got through the first minute, because, well…because the dude freaks me out.

And then there’s this one.

God bless America and our right to own 500 guns. Not sure if these are just promo clips, or if they will be in actual episodes…but I am very, very excited. I read an article recently that interviewed Matt and Trey, and they said that said they will definitely be doing a huge Tiger Woods episode. Can’t wait to see what they do to that man whore…

Despite his substance abuse problems, Haim was always the greater Corey.  Though his counterpart Corey Feldman starred in The ‘Burbs, Haim will always hold the higher ground in my opinion.  Just look at the way he macked it to Nicole Eggert using a stuffed animal reference (see Blown Away link above, it will not disappoint).  You have to admit, “nice duck” is a much better way of getting butt than pulling off this musical number (at the 1:10 mark, Feldman defines the word “chump stain”):

I rest my case, Corey rests in peace.

When this guy gets to the hospital, someone take his food and put some atomic peppers on top of his burger.

This picture has been up on my site for like two weeks, and I just recently realized this was a chick. Either that, or it’s a dude with really large nipples. Hoping for the latter…

WINNER!!!!

KISS groupies have to do something while Gene Simmons gets hair plugs put in.

Submitted By: Nalley

RUNNERS-UP:

2. Casper’s lesbian cousin, Jasper.
Submitted By: DC Star

3. Barney’s Beanery is the only place where Andy Dick and Robert Smith’s love child can be himself.
Submitted By: LA Dave
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Nothing gets the blood flowing like a little KISS rock n’ roll action. You know, I read a recent scientific study on KISS songs, which discovered that roughly 78% of all of the lyrics to KISS songs are devoted to, in one way or another, licking and/or exploiting genitals. 49% referred exclusively to Gene Simmons’ genitals, and 21% referred even more exclusively to his left testicle, which he’s named Clarence.

I thought that was interesting. (I probably should, I made it up.)

Props to Nalley on his latest victory — I believe this is his third? The dude rocks the captions like Gene Simmons rocks glory holes at truck stops. Frequently.

Also like to give a shout out to DC Star and LA Dave for adding some spice to the caption fire. And for the record, I met Casper’s lesbian cousin, Jasper. And let me tell you something. Not a fan. She’s kindof a snob.

You’ll also notice that there’s no “Honorable Mention” this week. That’s because Niblet’s caption recieved no votes, so he receives no courtesy. That’s a play right out of Jasper’s lesbo handbook. That bitch.

Keep your captions pointed this way, new contest coming soon…

You may also notice some posts from “newcomers” LA Dave and Scott LaRock. They’re actually Pizza veterans, been around the site forever, and are hilarious. These guys will add some funny, so look forward to that.

It’s all very exciting, I know. My nipples have be at attention for the last three nights straight, and to be perfectly honest, I’m starting to chafe.

Great stuff coming in the upcoming months. So stay with us, and more importantly, stay classy.

The type of multitasking skills where she could fold the laundry, make you a grilled cheese, and dish out a hearty blow J simultaneously.

Ms. Barnes explained, “She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit.”

Coincidence or simply great comedy luck that Megan Barnes crashed her ‘95 Thunderbird while shaving her bird? If you’ve seen the picture of this woman, a better option would have been to attempt a decapitation since she resembles a bloated Kurt Cobain after a sex change. I can only wonder if the design of her pubes was a heart shaped box.

Peep the rest of the story here.

Good for her. Good for all of these ladies.

Enter this shocking video. Apparently, Bieber stole his hit song “Baby” from Raaaaaaaandy, and now Raaaaaaaandy wants revenge…

Be careful, Bieber might shit on you too. That’s his MO. I know he’s only 16, but he’s got the bowels of a 72 year-old on prune juice. He could end you.